am I the only one who laughs like a retarded guinea pig being flung around in a sock against a brick wall when I find out a girl I hated through school has fallen pregnant out of wedlock? Again?
I know did too, but shit. I'm awesome.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Broke
but in a much better mood today. I've been a right bitch lately, and I've secretly felt bad about it. What made it better? This:
(walking to the shops, I'm dragging my feet)
Jerkface: "Tell mummy to pull her finger out."
The Kid: "Nonononono..."
Jerkface: "Why?"
The Kid: "I don't want to see mummy's blood."
Jerkface: "What?!"
The Kid: "Mummy, don't pull your finger off."
She's the rad, and she turns 5 on Monday.
(walking to the shops, I'm dragging my feet)
Jerkface: "Tell mummy to pull her finger out."
The Kid: "Nonononono..."
Jerkface: "Why?"
The Kid: "I don't want to see mummy's blood."
Jerkface: "What?!"
The Kid: "Mummy, don't pull your finger off."
She's the rad, and she turns 5 on Monday.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
"I miss your balls..."
... is what an old colleague told me over the phone today. I don't really know how to interpret that yet. I sort of responded with, "oh yeah..." I feel like I've missed something here.
Today, this hour, I feel horrible. I haven't taken any meds - I have been anti-depressant-free since October 2007, and it's been... ok. I haven't had a cigarette since last night. I could kick over a 2mo old infant if it was holding a cigarette. Through the course of this day, I have been surrounded by many infants. None of them have come bearing gifts of tobacco.
I bail on people. Not just friendships, but real romantic-like relationships. I really cock those last ones up. The connection that's supposed to make you feel something, the best I can manage is to build it up and then throw it away. I've done it once and I felt awful. I never said sorry, but I am. We've reconnected - purely as friends - and I feel like such a cunt because I can't put my apology into a coherent sentence because I can't think straight and I'm absolutely convinced that, at best, I'm an asshole.
I'm a really selfish person. That sucks to know.
I can't think straight. I'm stressed. I'm too proud and stubborn and I know I'm not making much sense which means (to me) that it's time to get some control and order in my life again. I don't know what that means... balls?
PS. I make half-apologies for the self-indulgent whingefest nature of this post. It's my blog, nyeh, and I feel like a wang that has been pulled wide open at the dickhole and stuffed with shell grit and lemonjuice. That's how horrible I feel inside and outside right now.
Today, this hour, I feel horrible. I haven't taken any meds - I have been anti-depressant-free since October 2007, and it's been... ok. I haven't had a cigarette since last night. I could kick over a 2mo old infant if it was holding a cigarette. Through the course of this day, I have been surrounded by many infants. None of them have come bearing gifts of tobacco.
I bail on people. Not just friendships, but real romantic-like relationships. I really cock those last ones up. The connection that's supposed to make you feel something, the best I can manage is to build it up and then throw it away. I've done it once and I felt awful. I never said sorry, but I am. We've reconnected - purely as friends - and I feel like such a cunt because I can't put my apology into a coherent sentence because I can't think straight and I'm absolutely convinced that, at best, I'm an asshole.
I'm a really selfish person. That sucks to know.
I can't think straight. I'm stressed. I'm too proud and stubborn and I know I'm not making much sense which means (to me) that it's time to get some control and order in my life again. I don't know what that means... balls?
PS. I make half-apologies for the self-indulgent whingefest nature of this post. It's my blog, nyeh, and I feel like a wang that has been pulled wide open at the dickhole and stuffed with shell grit and lemonjuice. That's how horrible I feel inside and outside right now.
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