am I the only one who laughs like a retarded guinea pig being flung around in a sock against a brick wall when I find out a girl I hated through school has fallen pregnant out of wedlock? Again?
I know did too, but shit. I'm awesome.
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Does she just sit on the corner with a funnel in her naughty bits?
When I was in 7th grade, a super hot ginger-haired 8th grade girl asked me on valentine's day to be hers. It was an awesome two weeks.
Then it was over as soon as it started.
I asked her why, and she said her friends were giving her shit about dating a younger guy, and told her she should be dating an older high school guy instead.
Anyway, it broke my wee little heart.
She eventually said she wanted to carry on our relationship, but only in secret, and I couldn't tell anyone, and we couldn't be seen in public together, and I couldn't call her (she would call me instead).
Oddly enough, I was so super excited. I was so excited I even told my Dad.
Then he gave me the only one piece of relationship advice he EVER gave me, and it actually still sticks to me.
"Fuck that," he said. "Never let anyone treat you like that. Always.. ALWAYS.. treat your lady with love and respect. Always be the very best gentleman you can be. If she leaves you, she'll always remember that YOU were the guy that treated her right, and that will be hers to live with."
So I told her that her deal was unattractive to me and that was that.
Years later my sister told me through a friend of hers that my beautiful ginger-haired first heartbreak had become a meth addict and had kids out of wedlock and was living in a trailer in Tennessee. I shit you not.
It's probably a terrible thing, but I got a huge amount of pleasure out of the thought of her sitting in her trailer remembering the nice guy.
Anyway, I guess all I'm saying is.. I feel ya.
Ah, shadenfreude. I don't think it's avoidable.
Oh man, much as I'm just as likely to wind up in the same boat, it does make my giblets tingle when I learn of yet another girl I went to school with who's knocked up with no real prospects.
I think I'm a bitch.
Also, nice imagery with the guinea pig thing. Made me smirk.
I don't laugh when I hear these things about girls from my old school. I scoff. I think that's much, much worse. They were bitches though.
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