JesusFreak

I found myself walking half my trip home after dropping The Kid off with an over-zealous but harmless Jesus, who wore an APEC-ish fluro-yellow shirt. Whether it was a uniform for anything in particular is anyone’s guess, but ‘tis the season to be clearly visible at all times, lest the wrong person with a suit whispers into his lapel…

He didn’t have anything in particular to report, just wanted to know what my name was and how things were going. While I normally would’ve been quite abrasive, I’d woken up this morning with a non-denominational chirpiness and figure I’d engage in conversation. Of course, I was just a swift kick away from removing his face in the event he tried any unsavoury shenanigans, but that’s a bit of a well-conditioned fear of everything. Pre-emptive strike?

So. We were walking down the street when he said that he’d seen me walking before and that I always look sad. While that actually surprised me, I told him that that wasn’t the case. I went further to ask him what he’d think if he saw people walking down the street grinning like Cheshire cats for no apparent reason, and he just laughed. It was a bit of an eager laugh – which I wasn’t expecting – so I laughed harder and faker than usual. It was awkward.

We crossed the bridge together and he even stopped with me when I ran into an old friend I used to drink with, and waited patiently and quietly for all of 2 minutes while I did the catch-up chat. I thought that was weird enough, seeing as we hadn’t discussed anything personal and were barely acquaintances, let alone stop-worthy. Suffice it to say that I did not introduce him to my friend; I actually never got Jesus’ name but he got mine even if he got it wrong. Anyway, We weren’t mid-sentence or mid-point, so what the shit? Is it weird that I think that’s weird?

I secretly thanked real-Jesus that it was Market Day in the street mall, as it gave me an excuse to stop and start and chat with the stall owners I regularly buy my fresh and *organic produce from. The conversation went thusly:

“Okay, I have to do some grocery shopping now.”

“Okay.”

“See you later.”

“Great!”

“What?”

“Nah.”


Umm. What the hell just happened?! I can’t help but feel less enlightened for the experience, not to mention that little bit more creeped out about Jesus.


*Organic’s the way of the future, yo; nobody wants a daughter so full of pesticides / hormones that she grows She-Wang. Seriously.